I Went to an Interview and all I got was this stupid Job.

Personhood requires a self assessment, where one takes inventory of the habits and traits which define their character and contrasts them against the actions they’ve performed, analyzing if they intersect, or precede in parallel destinies.  Without this subjective judgement, one would be rendered blank and become vulnerable to a society which defines existence via plain language. 

Such essence appraisals are encouraged in the elementary years. Demonstrated by guidance counselors, invading classrooms to disperse personality tests, inviting adolescent minds to decide whether they prefer to, “work indoors,” or “follow instructions to finish a task.” In the end, teaching the students to finesse their test results into their own “brand.” Honing the idea of self to symbols on a page. 

In a market economy, it’s vital that consumers understand they’re a brand. Being a brand necessitates advertisements to showcase how they might benefit society, at large. This vital step forfeits gumption for gains and if executed well, interjects the Noble Lie. The greatest example of this feat being a Job Interview. 

Within offices, advocates for employment, swivel their arms and take notice of the subtle fluctuation from moist armpit to dry flesh, both chilled by central cooling, designing the air to function like it was inside a morgue. Reanimated corpses assure the undertaker they’re alive, addressing the death inquiry with quick answers, to offset the slack-jaw-monotone plaguing their voice.

“What’s that smell?” 

*applicant sniffs*

“What smell? Something must’a died in your ceiling. Not me, though…I am very much alive.”

Published by akcola

AK Cola is a pop-culture war veteran.

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