Rerun Voting Cycle

Old Days…

Pundits coordinated their free-time to scheduled programming and delegated topics for conversation based on what they watched that day. On Tuesday mornings they removed ties and stockings while Big Bird flapped his beak, when Elmo appeared on screen conservatives pointed to the puppet and declared: “I TOLD YOU RED WAS THE COLOR OF MORALITY!” On Fridays reruns of Miami Vice placated the Gen-Xers as they vied for nostalgia against Xennials over which role played to Don Johnson’s acting prowess better, Nash Bridges or James “Sonny” Crockett.  These squabbles ended in hugs and handshakes and were abbreviated: “if only legislating were this easy.” Followed by uproarious laughter. Sundays were when the real fun happened. The day began with a viewing of the 700 Club, the majority leader then hosted a discussion on what to watch next while standing atop a soapbox, speaking through a megaphone, listing off options from the current week’s TV Guide.  If the majority leader was absent the minority leader took the reins, but much like school children enjoying a substitute’s makeshift lesson plan, the pundits misbehaved, crumpled bills into balls and threw them at the proxy representative, or the Tea Party reps unleashed fart noises with their mouths, forcing the minority leader to lose their cool and demand: “Alright! Who’s making those noises…real mature…” 


Humans fragment time to organize the completion of required tasks. Our ancestors used the sun-set to escape from open areas and find shelter to hide from predators, politicians use television shows to set-up appointments to vote on legislation. The interjection of streaming services has interrupted their ability to measure time appropriately. Being able to pick and choose programs on a whim, binge watch them without commercial interruption has stifled their capacity to get anything done. Time exists to them without limitations, the rest of us live within the boundaries of day to day, wait like reruns for a return to prime-time.

Published by akcola

AK Cola is a pop-culture war veteran.

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