A Politician and a Dead Man Walk Into a Bar…

Tear-ducts leak a prism, droplets crystallize and take the shape of a globe, ensnare fortunes, foretold through a virtuoso who capped his central incisor with gold.

Zero sum is what he predicts and licks his shimmer, reflected in the mirror assigned to the right side of the bedroom. 

During a session with a politician the client’s phone rang. He gave instructions before the seance, one of which required the elimination of all distractions. 

“Put away your phone.” He said.

But politician responded:

“I have to use the restroom.” He vacated the room, phone in pocket. While in the stall he answered the call. His wife stated: “there’s a dead man floating around the kitchen! He’s saying he wants to speak with you.”

“Uh…” the politician responded, “I guess hand him the phone.”



“Is this the dead man?”


“Well…uh…how may I help you?”

“I’m lost.”

“I see…well…I am not the one who summoned you.”

“Hmm..” the dead man pondered. “Well. Yours was the only voice I heard. Is there someone else I can turn to for guidance?”

The politician removed the phone from his ear, stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, none of his thoughts were clear. He gasped: “OH DEAR!” 

“What?” Asked the dead man.

“Nothing. Uh. I’ll call you back.” 

“Wait! WAI…” 

The politician hung up the phone abruptly. He went back to the virtuoso, who was playing Angry Birds on his I-phone. 

“Was that anything important?” 

“No…no….” The politician replied. “Just another nobody.” 

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